


we'll go down this road

by dizzy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 04:40:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19822735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: It's the day of the London Marathon, and Dan doesn't want to be at home.





	we'll go down this road

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out the art here!](https://dnovep.tumblr.com/post/186312480698/one-of-my-art-pieces-for-the-2019-phandom-reverse)

Dan's got a lot of moods, and Phil reckons he's seen just about every single one of them. 

When Dan wakes up on the morning of April 28 and says, "I just hired a car online," Phil understands exactly what sort of mood it is. 

It's the version of Dan that sometimes just needs to take control and change something. The one that feels stuck and stifled and doesn't do well with half-hearted gestures; he's an all or nothing guy at heart, and sometimes on the heels of a _nothing_ spiral he needs to just jump into something more _all_. 

So he doesn't want to be in London the day the streets are filled with runners. He wants to drive away far and fast, and he wants to do it with Phil.

*

There's wind whipping through Phil's hair and he can't stop his hand from gripping the door handle as his gut lurches over sharp turns. 

Dan's driving too fast. He probably knows it, but he doesn't seem to care. He hasn't been behind the wheel in ages but maybe this is exactly what he needed - to jump into something with no forethought, to let instinct take over, to feel like there's something he can successfully just _do_ without overthinking it. 

*

They only stop once for petrol. 

Phil walks in while Dan fills the tank, buying them water and an array of road trip sweets and salty snacks. 

Dan is back in the driver's seat already when Phil comes back out. He takes one look at Phil's haul and rolls his eyes. "We're only going to be in the car for another hour and a half, you greedy twat." 

"Oh, did you decide where we're going?" Phil asks. 

He's already unwrapping a Curly Wurly. 

"Yep." Dan hands his phone to Phil and starts the car up. "Wales. Now gimme some of that, bitch." 

*

"Huh," Dan says. "I wasn't expecting it to be so ugly." 

Phil laughs. It's a loud sound on a quiet beach. "It _is_ a bit ugly, isn't it?" 

"Fucking pebbles everywhere." Dan kicks at them. They both watch as they scatter. 

"Australia ruined us," Phil says. 

"Fuck." Dan sighs. "You're right." 

"Don't think we can make it there by nightfall, though." Phil checks the time on his phone. "Or would it be by tomorrow night? Or yesterday night?"

"Stop thinking." Dan orders him. "You'll give yourself a headache." 

"You're right," Phil says, and does his best to just stop thinking at all. He looks over at Dan. "Race you to the pier? You have to give me an advantage, though." 

Dan's laugh is worth his humiliating loss.

*

They could make it back to London, but they don't even try. 

Instead they book a room at a cheap seafront hotel that they walk right up to. There are only eight rooms in the entire building, but they're informed that they're quite lucky because there's been a cancellation for the night. 

The room has red walls and a flower print carpet that's an immediate assault on Dan's senses. The art on the walls doesn't make sense and the curtains don't entirely match. Phil doesn't mind it; it's unattractive in the sort of way he associates with hotel rooms his parents booked as a kid. 

The bed is smaller than they're used to. Dan immediately tosses the red and gold decorative pillows onto the floor and claims his side of it. Phil has to climb over him, laughing when he realizes their feet both hang over the edge of the bed. "This will be fun." 

Dan just grunts in response. Phil rolls onto his side and tucks his body along the curve of Dan's, pressing his forehead in between Dan's shoulder blades. "This is nice," he says.

"Is it?" Dan asks. 

It's a rhetorical question, but not really. Dan wants to hear Phil say that _yes_ , it really is nice. 

Phil drops a kiss on the back of Dan's neck, the soft hair tickling his nose. "It really is, though. We needed a little holiday." 

"I forced you into a car when you get carsick." 

"I took the tablets before we left," Phil says. "And there weren't many curves. It was fine." 

"You had a video to edit." 

"Videos can wait an extra day." 

"You..." 

"Dan." 

Dan sighs. "Yeah." 

"I love you. Shut up."

Dan grabs Phil's hand and pulls it up to his chest. "Fine."

"Dan." Phil whines. 

"What?" Dan pretends he doesn't know what Phil wants, but Phil can hear the smile in his voice. 

He pokes Dan in the chest. "Say it back." 

Dan sighs in a put upon way. "Fine. Love you, too." 

Phil snuggles in closer. "Knew it." 

"Of course you did, idiot. We're basically married." Dan says, and Phil marvels all over again at how much fondness it's possible for Dan to pack into eight little words that shouldn't sound as lovely as they do. 

*

They eat fish and chips at the hotel cafe. The sun hasn't even begun to set. "I bet we could have made it all the way to the far coast," Dan says. 

"Is that one prettier?" Phil asks. 

Dan shrugs. "I'm not sure. Bet it has more cliffs." 

"There are probably cliffs around here. We could go find them?" 

"Right, we'd get lost and then I'd be wandering cliffs with you spending all my time trying to make sure you don't fall. That sounds fantastic." 

"I bring adventure to your life," Phil informs him. Then he gets distracted by the plastic menu in front of him, voice lifting with excitement. "They do a full Welsh breakfast here! Bacon, sausage, tomatoes, eggs, mushrooms, beans, and toast!" 

"That sounds exactly like what someone who gets carsick should eat before riding three hours." Dan is mostly giving his attention to his food. 

"So we'll eat and then walk around Penarth," Phil says. "We don't have to be back in a hurry, do we?" 

Dan looks up at him. "I guess not?" 

His voice has a note of hesitation to it, like he's asking Phil. 

Phil gets it. It's not that Dan needs his permission to escape a bit. It's just that... he wants to hear someone else say he's allowed to want the things he wants sometimes. 

Phil can't always give him that. Sometimes he has to be the gentle voice telling Dan what he doesn't want to hear. That he can't always run away. That he can't always hide. He's mostly good these days about only pushing when Dan wants to be pushed. 

Dan didn't want to be pushed last night, and Phil doesn't want to risk that now. So he just smiles in the kindest way he can and says, "We're not in a hurry."

*

"I turned my phone off when we got here," Dan says. 

They're sat on a bench near the pier watching the sun sink lower and lower on the horizon. 

"Is that good or bad?" Phil carefully asks. 

Dan shrugs. "Just couldn't take anyone else checking in to ask how it was going." 

Phil reaches out and puts his hand on Dan's leg, squeezing gently. "It's a good thing, I think. If anyone really needs anything, they'll try me." 

Dan looks at him with something like relief. "Yeah." 

"And that's fine," Phil reminds him. 

Dan rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. "I know." After a pause, he adds, "Thanks."

*

"Do you want to talk?" Phil offers once they get back to the hotel. 

Dan has a set of questions that work well with different moods he's in. Right now Phil knows the ones that won't get him anywhere: _how are you_ and _are you okay_ would both be a bust, resulting in mumbled one-word answers. 

Sometimes Dan just wants to say things and not feel like he's being coddled. 

He can tell Dan's thinking about it, but Dan shakes his head. "Not yet?" 

"Alright." Phil kicks his shoes off and pulls his shirt over his head. His fingers are on the button of his pants, popping it open, when he says, "Wanna fuck?" 

* 

This always gets Dan out of his head better than anything else, and Phil's not exactly going to complain about being naked in bed with Dan. 

It doesn't matter what corner of the world they're in, there's something of a forever feeling about Dan's mouth on his mouth and Dan's hands on his body and just - Dan. Inside and over him and everywhere. Dan stroking him to hardness and grunting with each rock of his body and sweating against him. 

Phil digs blunt trimmed fingernails into Dan's shoulders, grasps at the damp skin of Dan's back, mouths against the salty curve of his neck. He lets Dan move and take what he needs and when Dan pulls away panting and breathless and frustrated with a cramp in his leg, Phil pushes him onto the other side of the bed and climbs right on. 

They don't do it this way all that often, but Phil can't remember why when he's looking down at Dan's wide-eyed expression of wonder while Phil sinks down on him. He loves the way he can tell there's not a single thing clouding Dan's mind when Dan thrusts up, chasing pleasure that Phil gives him not just happily but greedily. He wants Dan to feel every ounce of everything good and he wants to be the one to give it to Dan and he wants to steal a little back for himself. He's not really that altruistic, he's just in love. 

*

Dan comes first, so hard he can barely speak until the stars clear from his mind. He watches Phil stroke off onto Dan's belly and covers Phil's hand with his own to encourage the aftershocks until they bleed into overstimulation. 

"Good?" Phil asks. He knows it was. He just likes to hear it. 

Dan smiles and indulges Phil. "Too good. We might need to book an extra day just for me to recover." 

Phil laughs, and then sits upright suddenly. "Oh!" 

"What?" Dan asks. 

"I just remembered I have snacks!" He scrambles off the bed entirely naked. 

"Excuse you," Dan says. "Some clean up first?" 

Phil looks over at Dan, belly still decorated with come. "Clean yourself up. I already did all the work!" 

"Only for like, half the time." Dan's grumbling but Phil doesn't miss how he's moving with more ease to his body as he disappears into the bathroom. 

He's back in bed by the time Dan returns, a snack buffet of salt and vinegar Hula Hoops, Quavers, a bag of Percy Pigs, and Cadbury Fingers. 

"Did you leave any left in the shop?" Dan asks. 

"You don't like Jaffa Cakes, so I left those," Phil tells him. "I'm a good boyfriend." 

"Uh huh." Dan pokes his side. "Move over." 

"I can't," Phil says. "There's not enough room." 

"Move or I'll make you." 

"Nuh uh. You just gotta stand there." Phil smiles at him. "Maybe do a nice pose?" 

"Are you - do you just want to look at my cock? You know we just had sex, right?" 

"Mhm." Phil shoves five hoops into his mouth. "Not just that. I like the whole view." 

Dan gets on the bed and shoves forcibly at Phil. "Shut up and hand me the Quavers." 

*

They both sleep more poorly on the strange, too-small mattress than they would at home. 

That's probably why it doesn't feel as awful as Phil thought it would when the alarm he set for 4:45 in the morning goes off. 

"The fuck?" Dan mumbles from where he's face-first in his pillow. 

Phil allows himself a few blissful seconds of peace, then shoves at Dan. "Come on. Up." 

*

Getting ready only takes a few minutes, given that Dan had only given Phil a few minutes warning before they left the previous morning. It was just enough time for Phil to throw a change of clothes for each of them and their toiletry bags into his backpack. 

He did forget his razor, but he's only just got a five o'clock shadow. It'll be fine until they get back home. 

"Those aren't even your jeans," Dan says, watching Phil tug ripped black denim up over his thighs. 

"I know." Phil makes a face. "Not the ones I thought they were." 

"They look good on you," Dan says. He's got a quiet, scratchy morning voice. "You should keep them." 

"You're just saying that because you've got like five identical pairs, aren't you?" Phil asks. They're the ones Dan wore during the stage show the year before. 

Dan shrugs and turns back to the mirror. His words are garbled around his toothbrush. "Nah. They just look good on you." 

Phil smiles at Dan's reflection. "Thanks."

*

Phil wants to go to back to the beach, but Dan says he won't deal with Phil complaining about the hem of his jeans being damp for the whole rest of the day and starts them toward the pier instead. 

It's a good option, Phil thinks. All the shops and the pavilion won't open for hours and there's no one else around at all. 

It feels so otherworldly that Phil doesn't think twice about reaching out and taking Dan's hand. Dan looks at him and smiles. 

*

They watch the sun rise at the end of the pier, standing shoulder to shoulder. Their arms rest crossed against the railing, because the benches behind them are damp with morning dew and Dan says he's too delicate for a wet bum at five in the morning. 

"I'm gonna be able to post the video in June, aren't I?" Dan asks. 

It's one of those _click_ moments for Phil. 

This isn't about the marathon. It is, but it isn't. It's just about Dan's fear of his brain defeating him sometimes. 

"Yeah," Phil says, not an ounce of doubt in his voice. "You are. You've worked so hard on it. And you've got time still. If you’re not ready in June, then it'll be a July video." 

Dan takes a deep breath. "It'll be June." 

"I believe you," Phil says. Then he adds: "But if it isn't, it's alright." 

Dan laughs a little. "I love you." 

"I know," Phil says, and rests his cheek against Dan's shoulder. 

It only takes a few seconds before he feels Dan poke his side. "Say it back." 

There's laughter in his voice when he responds, "I love you, too."

*

They stay there until other people start to arrive; early morning fishermen, people to open the shops and stores, amateur photographers who want to catch the morning sun. 

"I want breakfast now," Phil says. 

"Full Welsh breakfast?" Dan asks. 

Phil beams at him. "Full Welsh breakfast." 

*

They toss their single backpack of belongings into the back of the car just after lunch. They've each got coffees for the road and Phil's sent his mum a postcard with the pier on it and short of adventuring amongst the cliffs, there's not much else for them to do. 

Phil's not sad to be going back home. He doesn't actually think Dan is, either. "Will you pick out some music?" 

"Now you're just indulging me," Dan says. 

"Does that mean you don't want to?" 

"Uh, no. You made the offer and now we're listening to Frank Ocean for three hours whether you like it or not." Dan starts the car up. The first thing he does is roll the windows all the way down. 

Phil's glad for it. He wants the wind on his face. 

He leans his head against the passenger seat and settles in to watch the water for as long as he can as Frank starts to sing them off.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [liquidsky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidsky) and [waveydnp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp) for the beta reading! 
> 
> Read and reblog here on tumblr.


End file.
